The Letter Read online

  The Letter

  by Willa Okati

  Samhain Publishing, Ltd.

  Chapter One

  Phones are funny things, man. We use them now like people used to write letters back in the olden days.

  Sometimes it’s just a “Hey, how are you” kind of thing, but every so often there’s laughter and there’s tears, or a question you just can’t answer, no matter how hard you try.

  Luke wound the cord of the old-fashioned phone around his finger as he stalled, trying to think of something to say.

  “Well?” his older sister Zillah demanded. “This had better be good, Lucas.”

  Uh-oh. When Zillah used his full name, he knew he was in trouble, and some little part of him had never gotten past “big sister” being able to beat the crap out of him. Even now they were grown and living their own lives, she still had the upper hand and she never let him forget it, either.

  “Sometimes these things happen,” he said after taking in a deep breath. “It isn’t like Brandon and I hate each other or anything. It’s just time for us to go our separate ways.”

  “No, it’s not,” Zillah said decisively. “I know my friends and my family like the back of my hand, and you and Brandon belong together. I don’t care what anybody says or whatever fancy job a headhunter up North throws at you. You can keep working on software out in your garage office and let them buy it, but you stay put. You belong here in the foothills, with us. With Brandon. You know he can’t leave. Those children in that special school depend on him. Worship him. But more than that, you two have the same kind of forever love as I see among the others who live around here, and I don’t understand why you can’t see the same thing with your own two eyes.”

  “Zillah…” Luke let out a sigh and leaned against the wall.

  “There’s no use trying to explain things to me. We’ve been over it a hundred times. Marianne, what are you doing? I’m on the phone. Marianne, hold on a second—”

  There was a fumbling, and then Luke heard the gentler sounds of his sister’s partner come on the line. “I wrestled her down,” Marianne said. “She means well, Luke, you know that.”

  “I do,” Luke replied with a lump rising in his throat. He’d miss everyone, not least of all Brandon, but not having Zillah around for the first time in his life would be harsh. “She’s my sis, you know? Takes care of me and all. That’s her job.”

  “And she puts her whole heart and soul into it. You’re mine by kinship if not by blood, so I look out for you too.”

  “Now don’t you start.”

  “I just don’t see why.” Marianne’s voice was calmer, but her tone just as unhappy. “You and Brandon belong together.”

  “We did belong together, sugar. The time’s just come for us to go our separate ways, that’s all. Look. It would have happened eventually. No one stays together forever.”

  “Slate and Ash are. Ian and Andy will. You know nothing’s gonna come between me and Zillah. So why do you have to split up with Brandon? Turn the job down, Luke. You earn a good living here, and you have a partner who puts up with you—more than that, who loves you.”

  “And I love him. Always have, and always will.” Luke leaned forward onto his elbows on his kitchen counter. He glanced around the small space where he’d grown accustomed to cooking with Brandon, their hips bumping as they tried to work in the tiny area, laughing as they sliced up meat or cut carrots.

  Kissing over a sink full of dirty dishes.

  He shook his head to clear it and went on.

  “I can’t turn down this job offer, Marianne. They want someone to head up the base of operations for their whole business. I still don’t know why they picked me out, but I can’t turn them down. I can’t just stay a freelance tech forever. This is my chance, baby. Don’t make me say no.”

  Marianne was silent for a moment.

  “And what about Brandon?” she asked. “What does he think?”

  Luke sighed. “We’re in agreement, sugar,” he said as kindly as he could. “He’s all right with me moving on and him staying here with the job he loves, teaching special-needs kids, while I go and do the job I love, designing software somewhere other than a garage workroom.”

  “I don’t see how he could be all right.”

  “We’ve talked things out.”

  “And he didn’t say a word in protest?” Luke shifted uncomfortably. They’d had a few words—hell, more than a few—but if he told Marianne the truth, she’d be on him like fleas on a hound dog.

  “We came to an agreement,” he replied instead. “Him and me, we’re of one mind about this. Has to be done.”

  “I’m sorry, then. And so is Zillah. Sorrier than we know.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Luke saw Brandon edge into the room, having just gotten home from work. The man kept long hours, staying after to help his students, often not getting back before four or five. That wasn’t what Luke was concentrating on, though. His lover, tall and straight as an arrow, was slowly unbuttoning the sleeves of his long white work shirt.

  “I’ve got to go now,” he rushed, eager to get her off the line. “Got a lot of stuff to do before my flight leaves tonight.”

  “Do you have to leave so soon?”

  “They want me there by Monday, and I still have to find a place to live.”

  “But all your things?”

  “I’ll finish packing up some stuff right quick. Essentials and all that. Just what I need for a couple of days and nights.” Brandon had moved on from his cuffs to the buttons of his shirt, undoing the fastenings one at a time.

  He looked up at Luke, his eyes sparkling dark and wicked. Luke swallowed hard. God, how hard it was to resist this man. He loved every inch of Brandon, from the tip of his head to his shining glasses down to his elegant feet and long toes. Damn if the man wasn’t pretty all over.

  “The rest of what you own?”

  Luke dragged his attention back to the conversation. “Brandon’s gonna pack up what he can. Then a truck will come by for the rest of my junk and stuff.”

  “He’s actually going to help you out. God almighty… He loves you enough to let you go, and you’re just gonna fly away?”

  “It’s that time for me, Marianne. Now, I gotta hang up. I’ll call you from New York once I’m settled in and let you and Zillah know I’m okay.”

  Brandon pulled the tails of his shirt out of his jeans and let them hang open, free, baring his chest. Luke’s hands ached to run over all that smooth skin and ridged muscle, to see the dark chocolate of his fingers splayed against the creamy vanilla of Brandon’s flesh.

  “And what about Brandon?” Marianne asked sadly. “Are you going to call him, too?”

  “It’s best that I don’t. I really have to go now, sugar. Say goodbye to Zillah for me.”

  Marianne sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “If I can’t talk you out of this, then, go on. Do what you have to do. Just know how much you’ll be missed, and by Brandon too, even if he won’t say it.”

  Brandon ran his forefinger down his chest, circling both nipples and stopping at his navel, his hand hovering over the bulge in his jeans. Luke licked his lips.

  “Goodbye, Marianne.”

  “Goodbye.” Luke heard a click and then the line went dead. He hung up the phone, letting his breath out in a rush.

  He looked up at Brandon, shaking his head. “I didn’t think she was ever gonna stop talking. I love her, but I’ve got something more important to do right now.”

  “Like me?” Brandon asked, shrugging his shirt off. It floated to the ground around his feet, a pool of white against their polished hardwood floors. The smell of his cologne and his skin drifted over to Luke, making his own cock sit up and take notice. Just the scent of his lover could turn
him on faster than a snap of the fingers.

  “One last goodbye,” Luke agreed. “No more questions, ‘cause we know all the answers. Just one more time to see us on our way, and then we’ll be through.”

  “Then do hurry up.” Brandon’s voice still held a trace of the British accent Luke had fallen in love with before he’d even been properly introduced to the man.

  “I’ve been home all of ten minutes, and you haven’t ravished me yet. You’re running a little behind, don’t you think?”

  “I’ll show you behind.” Luke crossed the kitchen with three steps and wrapped his arms around Brandon, feeling the solidity and warmth of his lover in his arms. He closed his eyes and pretended, just for a second, that this thing coming between them, his leaving, wasn’t real. Good as the job offer was, and as much as he protested otherwise, a great big part of him didn’t want to let go and move away from this home and this man.

  He knew Brandon felt the same way, too, from the way Brandon took ahold of him and pulled him close. There was a desperation in how hard he held on, as if he was cherishing this one last time a little too much, storing every single memory up to take out and go over when Luke had left him behind.

  “Don’t,” Luke said into Brandon’s shoulder. “You know I can’t stay.”

  “You won’t stay.”

  “Please. Just don’t. We agreed, one last time. Let’s enjoy this while we have it.”

  “All right, then.”

  Luke drew back, but just far enough to put his hands behind Brandon’s head and draw him in for a kiss. Their lips met with sweet familiarity, but also in a bittersweet sort of way that made Luke think of the way tears tasted.

  “Don’t,” he whispered against Brandon’s lips. “Please, don’t.”

  “No regrets.” Brandon’s hands came up to hold Luke’s wrists.

  “We’ve said almost all our goodbyes.”

  “Now it’s time for the last one.”

  “It is.”

  Brandon stepped back, picking up his shirt. The movement of the white fabric made Luke think of a cloud of doves flying home to rest. “Come to the bedroom, then. I want to feel you inside of me one last time. We agreed.”

  “I’m right behind you.” Like I always said I was gonna be, Luke thought. But this, this leaving you, even though we agreed, I didn’t know how hard it was gonna break my heart.

  Brandon led the way to the bedroom they’d shared for the past five years, no looking back, quietly confident that Luke would follow. He did, swallowing down another lump of regret as he entered and saw the big, dark wood bed with its handmade crazy quilt and the long pillow they both rested their heads on.

  When he reached the bed, Brandon turned around to face Luke. “How shall we do this?”

  Luke shook his head. “Any way you want to, babe.”

  “Please—” Brandon held up a hand. “I can’t bear to hear you calling me that. Not now.”

  “All right. I’m sorry. Brandon. Anything you want, it’s yours. Just tell me what to do.”

  Brandon sat on the edge of the bed. “Come here, to me. Stand between my legs. I want to taste you before we do anything else.”

  Luke obeyed, the movement natural but the atmosphere charged with something heavy and unquiet. Whenever they’d done this before there had been passion or laughter, but now there was only Brandon’s studious concentration as he ran his fingers over the zipper of Luke’s jeans, then pulled it open.

  He tugged the jeans down, along with Luke’s jockey shorts, all the way to mid-thigh, and studied what he found there.

  Luke let out a small hiss as the cool air of the house kissed his cock, which was hard and ready for action even if the rest of him wasn’t. He looked down to see Brandon gazing at him as if he were something rare to be treasured, and then watched him as the man bent forward to take Luke’s dick into his mouth.

  Luke swore under his breath and put his hands forward, steadying himself on Brandon’s shoulders. He moved his hands like a cat would knead, rolling in time with Brandon’s sucking motions and making small cries whenever Brandon used his teeth or his tongue in an especially fine way, turning him desperate for the feel of something tighter and hotter around his cock.

  All too soon, Brandon drew off, licking his lips. He held on to Luke by one hip and looked up at him, eyes serious. “Now,” he said solemnly. “Do what comes naturally, but I want you.”

  I’ll always want you—that went unspoken.

  Luke nodded, pushing his jeans and shorts out of the way and kicking them lightly across the bedroom floor. As Brandon stretched out on the bed, Luke moved to Brandon’s side, helping his lover wriggle out of his own khakis until he, too, was bare of any stitch. Naked, Luke stretched out on top of the man, bracing his weight on his arms.

  They shared another kiss, long and deep and slow. “Good,” Brandon murmured when they parted. “No one’s ever kissed me like you do.”

  And never will again, Luke thought. God, so many things are going unsaid.

  “Kiss me.”

  Luke obeyed, bringing his mouth down with a hungrier fervor, trying to let Brandon know through his movements how much regret he felt at this having to be their last time together. That changed quickly, though, to pleasure at how good this felt, having Brandon beneath him.

  Brandon’s cock stood up hard and full, pressing against Luke’s organ in a way that made both of them groan. Luke began to move, rubbing up and down, stroking his dick against Brandon’s belly and letting Brandon’s prick stroke along his stomach. He splayed his hands wide on Brandon’s upper arms, holding on with a good solid grip, just right, loving the way their skin contrasted together.

  “Good,” Brandon whispered. “So good. But I want more. Please.”

  Luke nodded. He reached for the lubricant, where they normally kept it, but was stopped by Brandon shaking his head. “Not the old stuff,” he said quietly. “I bought a new bottle. It’s on the headboard.”

  Shutting his eyes for a brief moment, Luke reached above their heads and found a small sample-sized bottle. The gel inside was a dark indigo, and smelled of ripe summer blackberries. “One Use Only”, the label read.

  One last time.

  Luke uncapped the lubricant and squeezed a dollop over his fingers. “Open up for me, Brandon,” he whispered. “Spread your legs wide. That’s it, you know the way. Come on now.” As Brandon moved for him, Luke reached between the spread legs and smoothed the lube in the crease of his partner’s ass cheeks, reaching for his hole and circling it with dark fingers against the pale white skin. The smell of blackberries filled his nose, along with the scent that was Brandon’s alone—tea and herbs and paperback books.

  They hadn’t discussed how they were going to fuck this one last time, but Luke knew what he wanted. He lifted Brandon’s right leg over his shoulder, smoothing down the fine hairs with his clean hand. “Lift up on your left,” he directed. “Go easy, now, don’t hurt yourself.”

  “I can still bend in half if I want to.” Brandon’s eyes were hazy with passion now as he raised his left leg to hook over Luke’s shoulder, lifting his ass and presenting it for Luke’s cock.

  Luke spread a little more of the lubrication around Brandon’s hole, but the man was already relaxed for him, fluttering open and shut, eager for his cock. He placed the blunt head of his dick against Brandon’s entrance and pushed inside, one inch at a time, taking it slow and easy even though Brandon made a dozen moans and grabbed at Luke, begging him to go faster.

  When he was seated all the way inside, Luke bent over for another kiss. “Look me in the eyes while we’re doing this?” he asked. “I want to see you seeing me.”

  Brandon nodded, then arched up, trying to work himself on Luke’s cock. “So eager for it, babe, just like always.” Luke nipped Brandon’s lower lip, noting that the man didn’t correct his use of the pet name this time. He was too far gone, probably. So was Luke, and heading deeper fast.

  He began to thrust, keeping it slow
and steady, going by inches at first, but then, as Brandon gripped his cock with his internal muscles and squeezed it hard, Luke found himself beginning to thrust like a piston, snapping back and forth with all the might in his hips. Brandon could take it rough, he knew. He wouldn’t hurt the man. Hell, from what he could tell Brandon was loving it. His hands roamed all over the place, clutching here and grabbing there, his mouth moving in a stream of nonsense words that all added up to I love this, I love you.

  Luke willed himself not to close his eyes. He kept them trained on Brandon’s, although he was finding it hard to see through the haze of pure need. Brandon kept his word, too, his gaze growing darker and cloudier with lust as Luke thrust inside him.

  Suddenly, Brandon spoke, three little words that stripped Luke of all his control.